Uburyo bwo kuganira n'Umwana Wawe

Iyo umuntu akiri muto,usanga kenshi yihatira kubaza ababyeyi be kubyo agenda abona ndetse akabagisha inama kubyo yifuza gukora byazagirira
akamaro ejo hazaza he.

Ibi ariko umuntu abikora agendeye ku bimubaho mu
buzima bwa buri mu munsi (byaba byiza cg bibi),kubera ko aba afitiye icyizere ababyeyi be. Ibi ariko na none biterwa n’umuco cg imibanire y’ababyeyi kuko kenshi hari aho usanga umugabo aba ameze nk’intare mu ishyamba, yakwinjira mu rugo,abana bakihindira mu byumba. Icyo gihe iyo umwana agize ikibazo nta wundi akibwira utari nyina kuko aba yumva ko azamutumikira kuri Se niba hari icyo yifuza ko yamukemurira cyangwa
yamufasha gushyira mu bikorwa. Ibi rero si ibintu bikwiye gushyigikirwa cyane cyane mu muco wacu,kuko usanga iyo nta kiganiro cyabaye hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi babo, binabakurikirana.

Ushobora gusanga, nk’umwana w’umukobwa wakuze atinya se ,ashaka umugabo
na we akajya amutinya. Ushobora kwibaza uti « nk’umubyeyi nakora iki ? »
Burya ikiganiro/ubwumvikane (la communication) hagati y’umubyeyi n’umwana, ni uburyo bwiza buri wese abasha kumenyaniramo n’undi. Ni nk’urugendo umuntu akora iyo ari mu modoka agiye ahantu kure,kuko kenshi agenda yitegereza aho anyura,ugasanga amenye uturere /uduce twinshi kandi dutandukanye tw’aho yanyuze. Kandi burya n’iyo utangiye urugendo,ugasanga umuhanda utameze neza,ufata undi mwiza kugira ngo ikinyabiziga(ku babifite) cyawe kitahangirikira.

Ntabwo biba byoroshye na gato ku mubyeyi, ariko ni byiza gufata iya mbere ukegera umwana,ukamubaza mu magambo yoroheje,niba yagize umunsi mwiza(igihe
avuye nko ku ishuri) cyangwa se niba nta kibazo yahuye nabyo ku ishuri. Ibi bizamwereka ko nibura hari umwanya umuha mu buzima bwawe nk’umubyeyi
we. Hari igihe ashobora kukwihorera kubera ko atashye ananiwe cg ashonje,ariko burya numureka akaruhuka amaze gufungura ashobora kukubwira icyo wifuza kumenya ndetse na we ahindukire akubaze uko umunsi wawe wagenze. Aha ni byiza ko wamubwira ibyo wakoze
byamwongerera umuhate (motiver) mu masomo cyangwa mu buzima yifuza kuzabamo mu gihe kiri imbere. Hari igihe ushobora kubaza umwana uko ku ishuri bimeze,akagusaba ko muhindura ikiganiro cyangwa ukabona ashaka kukunyuza
hirya,aha ni ukwitonda ndetse ukamukurikiranira hafi, kuko kenshi hari ibyo aba ashaka kuguhisha.

Zimwe mu mpamvu zituma umwana atinya kugira icyo abwira umubyeyi we :

1. Akazi Kawe Karagutwaye : Ntakubona, ndetse ntibizanagutangaze akubajije niba uwo ukorera nta bana agira ! Burya ngo abana ni abarimu bakuru, rero barareba kandi baratekereza. Ugomba kwitonda,kandi ukareba kure nk’umubyeyi,kuko
nubwo uhihibikana ushaka ibyo kurya cyangwa se amafaranga y’ishuri by’umwana, menya ko burya umwana akeneye indero y’umubyeyi wamuhaye ubuzima.

2.Witura umujinya umwana uje agusanga : Umwana igihe aje agusanga rimwe na rimwe arira,ni uko aba akeneye ko umuhoza,wirakazwa n’ikosa yakoze cyangwa ikindi kintu cyamubabaje, kuko nubigenza utyo nta kintu azongera kukwibwirira. Birashoboka ko umufasha wawe na we yaba amaze kukurakaza, gerageza kwihangana wirinde gutura umwana umujinya cyangwa
umunabi watewe n’umufasha wawe.

3. Girira umwana ibanga : Igihe umwana akubwiye amabanga ye nk’umubyeyi, nawe ukabiganirira inshuti zawe (ibi bikunda gukorwa n’ababyeyi b’abagore), menya ko umwana namenya ko
uganiriza bagenzi bawe amabanga aba akubikije,atazongera na rimwe kukugirira icyizere,kuko azumva ko wamuvuyemo. Gusa aramutse akubwiye
ibintu ukumva bikurenze,wabiganira n’abandi kugira ngo bakugire inama ariko batamenye ko ibyo ubabaza byabaye ku mwana wawe cyangwa undi ubereye umwishingizi. Igihe birebana n’ubuzima,ni byiza ko wakwegera abajyanama cyangwa abaganga mu by’imikurire n’imihindagurikire y’umubiri w’umuntu,bakagufasha mu burere uha abawe. Kuganira n’umwana wawe si ibyo guhubukira ahubwo ni ibintu bisaba igihe n’umwanya uhagije.

Umwarimu mu bijyanye n’imyigire n’imivurire y’indwara zo mu mutwe (Professeur de Péopsychiatrie) yemeza ko urukundo rw’umubyeyi ku mwana we, rukwiye kugaragazwa mu buryo butandukanye kandi akabikora kuva umwana akivuka (si abagore bakagombye kubikora gusa,n’abagabo,uruhare rwabo ni ingenzi). Ubwo buryo
burimo,kwiyegereza umwana cyane ku gituza, kumusoma, kumuguyaguya, kumuhendahenda, kumutega amatwi igihe afite icyo kukubwira, kumwereka ibyishimo, ubugwaneza, imbabazi,ndetse ukamushyira ku murongo igihe bibaye ngombwa (discipline raisonnée). Ibi kandi bishimangirwa na Tiffany Field,umuyobozi mu ishuri rikuru rikora ubushakashatsi ku bijyanye no gukoranaho (le toucher) muri kaminuza ya Miami (Floride), ahoagira ati "gukora ku mwana ni ikintu cy’ingenzi
kugira ngo umenye niba amerewe neza, kuruta uko wamukoresha undi mwitozo".

Ni byiza ko ababyeyi bakwihatira kwegera abana babo, kuko bituma babagirira icyizere bityo bakabagira n’abajyana mu buzima bwabo.

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